The Water Room

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WAAF conscript, greyhound-stadium cashier, legal secretary, debt collector, charity worker, critic, mother, friend-because everyone has a story

‘Home is a name, a word, it is a strong

one; stronger

than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever

answered to,

in the strongest conjuration’

Charles Dickens

‘A little water clears us of this deed’

Macbeth

The most bizarre facts in this book are the truest, but listing them all here would perhaps arm you with too much knowledge for the story ahead. They can, however, be readily found and substantiated by anyone interested in such arcane matters.

I would especially like to thank my fearless agent Mandy Little for providing so much support, encouragement and enthusiasm. Huge thanks also to my editor Simon Taylor, truly a gentleman and a man of his word, and to the whole Transworld team for ensuring the safe return of Bryant and May.

Thanks, Richard, for a million things, especially being funny and finding time, to Jim for always coming up with brilliant solutions, to Sally for organizing my life and to everyone brave enough to attend the atmospheric but occasionally insalubrious venues where I read, especially Maggie, Simon, Mike, Sarah, Andrew, Martin, Graham, Michelle, Poppy, Amber.

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