One Man's Meat

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       It was necessary to the plot of this book to invent the names of a couple of processed dog foods and to ascribe to their supposed manufacturers titles that would neither duplicate nor suggest those of any real firms. The most diligent inquiries were made. They led rapidly to two discoveries: first, that the pet food industry dwarfs in scale and complexity some of the biggest enterprises in the field of human nutrition; second, that no word in the English language (or, indeed, out of it) can safely be discounted as a potential brand name, however tenuous its canine connotations.

       Having regard to the difficulties and hazards presented by this situation, and in pursuance of my aim to avoid causing moral, aesthetic, religious, patriotic or commercial distress to any one of the several thousand patentees, proprietors and distributors of foodstuff’s for domestic animals, I hereby solemnly declare that all such substances and their manufacturers mentioned in this book are purely imaginary and have nothing to do with the real and beautiful world in which we live.

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