Funny Money

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Thanks to George Lucas, my editor, Chris Calhoun, my agent, and my friends Steve Forte and Shawn Redmond, for their help and guidance.

Above all, thanks to my wife, Laura, my partner in writing, and in life.

“Crossroaders see the world differently than the rest of us,” Tony Valentine was saying to his neighbor over dinner in his kitchen. Buttering real butter onto his roll, he took a healthy bite. “Don’t remind me, bad for my heart, but I’ve got to have the real taste now and again. Makes life worth living, if you know what I mean.”

“What’s a crossroader?” Mabel Struck asked.

“A crossroader is a name for a hustler or a cheat. It comes from the Old West practice of cheating at saloons that were located at the crossroads of one-horse towns.”

“I presume so the cheater could make a hasty getaway.”

“Exactly. So where was I?”

“You were painting an altogether ugly picture of the people you put behind bars,” his neighbor said sweetly.

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