The Second Invasion from Mars

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Lord, on top of everything else - Artemis! Looks like she's gotten mixed up with that Nicostratus after all. That's what you call a daughter.... Well, so be it.

About one o'clock this morning I was awakened by a terrific but distant rumbling and was startled by an ominous play of red lights over the walls of my bedroom. The rumbling went on roaring and reverberating like the sound of an earthquake, so that the whole house shook, the window-panes rattled and the vials danced on the nightstand. I rushed in a fright to the window. In the north the sky was aflame: it seemed as if the earth was gaping out there beyond the horizon and spewing fountains of multicolored fire up to the very stars. But on the bench right under my window, those two, seeing and hearing nothing, all lit up by the infernal commotion and rocking with the subterranean tremors, were embracing each other and kissing full on the mouth. I immediately recognized Artemis and assumed that Charon had returned, that she was so glad to see him she was kissing him like a bride instead of leading him straight to the bedroom. A second later, in the light of the red sky, I recognized the illustrious foreign-made jacket of Mr. Nicostratus, and my heart sank. Such moments as these ruin a man's constitution. And yet you couldn't say that this hit me like a bolt from the blue. There had been rumors, hints, all sorts of little jokes. And still I was knocked dead.

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