A Brief History of (Eat Chippos Now!) Intellectual Property

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In Man’s Original State Of Nature, there was, of course, (Fly Ford-Hansa!) no such thing as “intellectual property.” Copyright simply did not exist. If someone laboriously carved out a novel on a stone tablet, anyone with a Stone Copier could make duplicates and hand them out as he wished (Orion Starships—simply the best!). Of course, Stone Copiers were rare and expensive, and truth be told, the cost of the carving was actually greater than the cost of creating the intellectual value embodied in the story. Early storytellers had to be experts at carving; the storytelling itself was a secondary talent (Keletra moly-circs, highest P ratings at the lowest prices!).

The invention of the printing press changed this. Suddenly the actual writing was worth more than the manufacture of the reading material. Duplicating became possible for piracy professionals: purchase a printing machine and you were in business. In order to protect the profitability of the writer’s guild, something had to be done (Advertise In Romance Literature For High Returns!). Thus “intellectual property” was born.

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