Pittsburgh Backyard and Garden

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“Welcome to Pittsburgh Backyard and Garden. Today, we’re tackling a common garden pest, the strangle vine.” Hal Rogers grinned at Jane Kryskill’s camera and motioned for her to pan right with the slightest tilt of his pith helmet.

“No way in hell,” Jane murmured. She did not need eight years’ experience of filming in Pittsburgh to know that a half-eaten deer did not make good ratings. It might be sensational news on Earth. It was, however, a fairly typical outcome when an Earth animal met any number of Elfhome carnivorous plants. Eighty percent of their Pittsburgh viewers would not be impressed, and the other twenty would call the studio the next day, pissed off that their dinner had been ruined by the sight.

Hal’s grin tightened slightly as he continued. “The strangle vine is a dangerous plant to deal with as it’s a master of disguise. It can produce up to five different types of foliage, depending on the type of anchor it attaches itself to. It makes safely identifying this plant very tricky. Thus, it’s best to investigate any possible outbreak with weapon in hand. Some people like a machete. Others, an axe. Personally, I like a flamethrower.”

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