Don't Try This at Home

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I cut my boyfriend in half; it was what we both wanted. I said we could double our time together. He said he could be twice as productive. I don’t think it would have worked with just anyone at any time. It had to be now.

Daniel got a spade off his mother that had belonged to his father, and to his father — both men who were never really all there. He lay on the bench in the concrete back garden, knees bent to squeeze in. The yard was carpeted with silver slug trails. I suppose we could have used the kitchen floor, but I didn’t want to scratch the tiles.

‘Are you sure?’ I said.

‘Yup.’

I stood over Daniel with a spade in my hand. He didn’t look at me. He looked up, waiting to see the sky divide. I thought about saying ‘I love you’ or something in case it all went wrong, but I didn’t want to admit it crossed my mind.

‘One, two…’ I brought the spade down on three with my eyes shut. There was a second when I wanted to stop, but mid-air the spade hurtled towards my original intention, with or without all of me on board. The metal sliced through bone, chimed on the concrete like a bell. I opened my eyes. My boyfriend was staring at me with the spade in my hand. And my boyfriend lay looking up at the sky. He turned to look at himself, sitting at the opposite end of the bench.

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