When I Surrender

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The girl, whose name I couldn’t recall, writhed beneath me on the bed, ready and waiting. My pulse spiked as I watched her tempting curves move in the moonlight.

“Go down on me.” She squirmed, wiggling her hips as if to entice me south.

“I’m not eating your pussy. You’re a stripper, baby, I don’t know where that thing’s been.” It was probably an asshole thing to say, but that shit was the truth.

She let out a short laugh, but didn’t disagree.

“Roll over. I want you from behind.” That way I wouldn’t have to look into eyes that weren’t McKenna’s when I sank inside her. The darkness inside me had lain dormant for too long. Because of her. It was probably a good thing she figured out I was all wrong for her before I did something bad.

I reached for a condom, knowing that the dual sensations of relief and regret would soon be flooding my system. It was familiar to me, and a feeling I welcomed. Even as I rolled the condom on, I knew this dull ache inside wouldn’t be satisfied by the girl in front of me. But this was who I was and I wasn’t fighting it anymore. McKenna might have helped me see the light, but she wasn’t here now. Just this warm, willing girl who wanted me. Sinking into her slick heat was the only thing I needed to numb my pain. Not to be psychoanalyzed by a girl who would probably never trust me anyhow. I’d lost McKenna anyway, so why was I even thinking about that? The truth was, she was still the only woman I thought about day and night, even when I was about to satisfy my needs with some random hookup.

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