Dulcie & Decorum

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If you make typographical errors in typing, leave them alone! The biggest mistake is in trying to learn whether they mean anything!

“What is so fascinating about the letter w?” Wallace asked, looking up from the typed pages. His cool British voice was as precise as ever.

“Hm?” said Jones, pulling a cork.

“The letter ‘w,’ ” Wallace repeated patiently. “I’ve been counting your typographical errors. I find the letter you most frequently strike, when you ought to be striking some other letter, is ‘w’. Now I have an excuse for doing it—my name. But what’s yours? Why ‘w’?”

Jones got the cork out and filled both glasses. “You’re supposed to be reading the article.”

“Couldn’t possibly,” Wallace said. “Awfully sorry. Full of Americanisms. I get fearfully loyal when I’m drunk. Language of Shakespeare and Milton and Robie. You know.”

“Robie?”

“My editor. Filthy little bug. Writes himself, you know. Under pseudonyms. Asks you casually how you liked so-and-so’s last piece. Actually his own, you see. Ugh.”

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