Encyclopedia of a Life in Russia

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ENCYCLOPEDIA. A porter offered to carry my luggage to the taxi stand. He awaited my response patiently, eyes glued to the floor. I noted the cloth cap, smoke weaving from a filter cigarette, the tight checked jacket, and in tones of vox dei delivered a severe warning from on high: “No rushing off to the taxi, boy. I’ve just arrived in P** and am not in the mood to go chasing after you. I’ll bring you down with one shot or use a little gas — you’ll be shedding some tears, believe me.”

(That was me, barking orders like a ship’s captain who must keep his boisterous crew in check, a skill indispensable to anyone who wishes to move about the Grand Duchy of Muscovy unscathed; without it I’d have little chance of bringing my ambitious undertaking to a happy conclusion, my luggage stolen right there in the train station by one of these fake porters.)

At the taxi stand I handed some bills to the unkempt individual in question, who made no secret of his disappointment. He swayed querulously on his short legs; it was clear he’d been hoping for a different sort of client. (He hadn’t figured it out until he heard me threaten him with native fluency.)

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