The Complete Short Stories of Saki

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I did it◦– I should have known better. I persuaded Reginald to go to the McKillops’ garden-party against his will.

We all make mistakes occasionally. ‘They know you’re here, and they’ll think it so funny if you don’t go. And I want particularly to be in with Mrs McKillop just now.’

‘I know, you want one of her smoke Persian kittens as a prospective wife for Wumples◦– or a husband, is it?’ (Reginald has a magnificent scorn for details, other than sartorial.) ‘And I am expected to undergo social martyrdom to suit the connubial exigencies–’

‘Reginald, it’s nothing of the kind, only I’m sure Mrs McKillop would be pleased if I brought you. Young men of your brilliant attractions are rather at a premium at her garden-parties.’

‘Should be at a premium in heaven,’ remarked Reginald complacently.

‘There will be very few of you there, if that is what you mean. But seriously, there won’t be any great strain upon your powers of endurance; I promise you that you shan’t have to play croquet, or talk to the Archdeacon’s wife, or do anything that is likely to bring on physical prostration. You can just wear your sweetest clothes and a moderately amiable expression, and eat chocolate-creams with the appetite of a blasé parrot. Nothing more is demanded of you.’

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