S*E*V*E*N

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“I got to tell you what this flippy husband of mine pulled tonight, Irene. I’ll wait till Joe brings the drinks in. Well, hey! The booze is here already, huh? Here’s to it. If you get to it and can’t do it, and so forth. Cheers. Joe, what I wanted to tell you and Irene was what Marty pulled tonight that made us a little late getting here. Anyways, he gets all ready, see, and we’re at the door, practically, and I get a look at the necktie he has on and I told him it’s all dirty around the knot, so he should go change it. What he does with a necktie, like a nervous habit, is all the time tightening the knot and they get cruddy looking all the time, and guess who has to go through them every so often and weed out the cruddy ones to send to the cleaners. So he goes back to change to a clean tie, and I wait and I wait and I wait, and finally I go charging in to find out what’s holding him up, and you know what I find? You wouldn’t believe it! Here is this nut I’m married to, sitting on the side of the bed in his underwear. It’s like he’s some kind of go-to-bed machine. When he takes off the tie it starts the machinery. Tie, shirt, shoes, socks, pants. So he looks up at me with this kind of dumb look on his face, and I ask him is he maye going to come over here to see our good friends Joe and Irene in his underwear? He gives a kind of a jump and looks at himself and looks around, and then he has to get back into his clothes again. Isn’t that the limit? On the way over here I say to him, boy, it’s really going to kill Joe and Irene about why we’re late, and he says to me, he says, ‘Glad, what’s the point in telling anybody?’ So I say to him, ‘Jesus, Marty, you got to have a sense of humor, haven’t you?

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