Suicide Souls

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Losing a loved one is always difficult. But in my experience, grief related to suicide stands alone in its specificity. Even if there were signs, the death is a shock. Every person close to the deceased feels implicated in their death, some only slightly, and some carry the guilt for the rest of their lives. Grief is never linear, but grief following suicide is a random gut-punch every few days, weeks, or months for years. Suicide is a leading cause of death in the United States. There are a multitude of contributing factors. But if we destigmatize mental health struggles, lives will be saved.

Please, if you are in crisis, call someone. You are not alone. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. All calls are confidential. 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

There’s no reason to second guess my decision to kill myself. It’s too late for that. I could have tried to stick it out, taken some meds, talked to a therapist, started meditating, and all that shit. My increased self-awareness is the best thing to come out of all of this. All of this being my suicide attempt, which was completely successful because that’s the kind of person I am. I was. Whatever.

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