No One Else Can Have You

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A police officer comforts a woman on the shoulder of a rural highway. Behind them is a cornfield. The corn is shoulder high, not yet ready to be harvested. The officer has on a Green Bay Packers hat, and the woman is wearing a sweatshirt decorated in teddy bear appliqués. She is clutching a cell phone and crying hysterically. She and her husband own the cornfield. She’s just found something terrible in there.

“Deep breaths, don’tcha know,” the officer tells her. Trees line the opposite side of the road and starlings dive-bomb in hordes from one tree to another. The branches bend under the birds’ collective weight and fling leaves across the road with every ricochet.

“Now, Barbie Schultz, I sure know you’re upset,” he says. “You betcha—how many times do we have to deal with some hubbub in your cornfield? It’s disrespectful and deplorable, these delinquents and pranksters.” He raises his eyebrows. “But I can’t help you till I understand what’s happened in specifics—no ma’am—so I need to comprehend what all you’re saying.” He takes a step toward her. The scattered foliage makes Velcro noises underneath his feet. “So, let’s try this one more time, okay?”

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