The Diary Of A Killer Cat. The Return Of The Killer Cat. The Killer Cat Strikes Back. The Killer Cat's Birthday Bash. The Killer Cat's Christmas. The

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Okay, okay. So hang me. I killed the bird. For pityís sake, Iím acat. Itís practically myjob to go creeping round the garden after sweet little eensy-weensy birdy-pies that can hardly fly from one hedge to another. So what am I supposed to do when one of the poor feathery little flutterballs just about throws itself into my mouth? I mean, it practically landed on my paws. It could havehurt me.

Okay,okay. So I biffed it. Is that any reason for Ellie to cry in my fur so hard I almostdrown, and squeeze me so hard I almostchoke?

ĎOh, Tuffy!í she says, all sniffles and red eyes and piles of wet tissues. ĎOh, Tuffy. How could youdo that?í

How could Ido that? Iím acat. How did I know there was going to be such a giant great fuss, with Ellieís mother rushing off to fetch sheets of old newspaper, and Ellieís father filling a bucket with soapy water?

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Okay,okay. So maybe I shouldnít have dragged it in and left it on the carpet. And maybe the stains wonít come out, ever.

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