Dead Over Heels

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No man will ever bring out of that office the reputation which carries him into it . . . the honeymoon would be as short as in any other, and its moments of ecstasy would be ransomed by years of torment and hatred.

—THOMAS JEFFERSON

I do not want a honeymoon with you. I want a good marriage. I want progress, and I want problem solving which requires my best efforts and also your best efforts.

—GERALD FORD

Too fucking busy, and vice versa.

—DOROTHY PARKER,

in response to her editor’s request

for work on her honeymoon

Author’s Note

The events of this novella take place a week after the events in Undead and Uneasy.

The king and queen are coming to New York.”

The vampire, an ancient creature even by the standards of the undead, smiled. “Don’t tease, Robert. It’s so unkind.”

“I’m not teasing, my dear one. They’re coming.

They’ll be here the day after tomorrow.”

“What fun!”

Although he had made this vampire, as he had made many others, he was a little afraid of it. “Or, we could leave town.”

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