New Veronia

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I know for a fact that Jay came up with the shitty idea even though, later, Toshi tried to cop the plan as his. I’ve got a great memory; always have: I can remember my mother bending over infant me as I lay naked and sprawling on the blue checkered changing table, her tiny gold cross necklace dangling above my belly button, and I remember contracting my bladder, spurting the thin stream of celery-smelling urine out through my stunted penis and across my mother’s face. Her lips and eyes flattened out, and her strangled scream (muffled by her closed mouth) sent a shiver over my skin. And I know that I remember this on my own, not in the way that a kid remembers something his parent told him about— which is less remembering and more internalizing “the story of when I peed on my mom as a baby”—but in my own, intrinsic elephant memory, because my mom left when I was two, and my dad and I have barely talked to her or about her since.

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