A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's Guide to Saving the World

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Leonard’s usual complaint volume was twelve calls per hour, his average dispatch time two-point-five minutes, but for three nights running, Leonard had received no complaints whatsoever. No cranks, no callers saying they’d ordered super not supernal, not even a wrong number.

Leonard wasn’t worried, not at first — satellites blew up all the time, Neetsa Pizza always worked it out. He took time to catch up on the online antics of Sue & Susheela. And to ask questions of the Brazen Head:

Q: Are Sue & Susheela really twins? With each other, I mean.

A: They entered this world more or less at the same time and for the same purpose. Over and out!

By night two, Leonard would have welcomed even a crank. He was not always optimally compassionate with cranks, though on this matter, Neetsa Pizza was clear: all callers deserve the best, which is to say, a pizza shaped according to Pythagorean principles. In principle, though not always in practice, Leonard subscribed to this creed, which also stated:

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