Wild housewife

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A man in a raccoon costume was roller-skating around the stage and singing "Red Sails in the Sunset" in Pig Latin. As incredible as this sounds, what was even more incredible was that I was sitting there watching it of my own free will.

One of the panel of so-called celebrities gonged him and I felt a stabbing twinge of sadness. I was so depressed these days that rejection, even if it occurred on The Gong Show, stuck me like a knife. For a painful interlude there, I felt like I was the schnook in the ridiculous attire, being told that I wasn't wanted.

As another Gong Show contestant was hustled into the wings, I couldn't help feeling that my only companion, the television set, had betrayed me. At least when Let's Make A Deal had been on everyday nobody was rejected just for being a jerk. Now, on The Gong Show, all the misfits were receiving nothing but ridicule.

The Gong Show was almost over. A woman who had tap-danced underwater to "Fascinatin' Rhythm" was today's winner.

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