Murder Talks Turkey

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BOONDOGGLE (BOON dahg’uhl) n.

A pointless project. Work of no value, done merely to appear busy.

Alternate Word

ICKY (IK ee) adj.

Very distasteful; disgusting.

IN THE MICHIGAN UPPER PENINSULA we love our guns. There’s a lot of talk about how the federal government is plotting to take our weapons away. Nobody, but nobody, is going to get our guns, even if it means burying most of them in the ground and taking a final stand with our legs spread wide and our favorite firing power nestled in our arms.

I have a perfect example of why upstanding citizens need weapons. If I’d had a gun with me in the Stonely Credit Union, none of this would have happened. I’d have had a bead on the masked bandit before he could say boo.

Instead of boo, he said, “Everybody freeze.”

How original is that? He might as well have said, “Stick ’em up.”

Michigan’s tall conifers and wide stretches of unpopulated land must have had him thinking he was back in the Wild West.

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