Losers Live Longer

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“There are ideal series of events which run parallel with the real ones. They rarely coincide. Men and circumstances generally modify the ideal train of events, so that it seems imperfect, and its consequences are equally imperfect.”

—MORAL ANSICHTEN, by Novalis (von Hardenburg), translated by Edgar Allan Poe, 1842, in “The Mystery of Marie Roget.”

“We’re a nation of standup comics looking for an audience. One-liners, quick repartee, the zinger. A joke for every problem, a quip for every question. Maybe because we don’t want to answer the questions, or even hear them.”

—MINNESOTA STRIP, by Michael Collins, 1987

Chapter One: OWL’S CALL

The downstairs doorbuzzer buzzed.

I didn’t answer it.

It was too early to be the mail lady, only half-past nine in the morning the first Thursday after Labor Day. Couldn’t think who else’d be ringing my bell, not for a second it might be a client.

I never had walk-in trade before, and gone were the days when I lived in anticipation of any. Most of my work came from referrals, and all of it began with at least a phone call first. With no appointments on the calendar that morning, I was at my desk drinking coffee and smoking, fresh from the daybed, dressed only in t-shirt and jeans, and barefooted.

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